Moving for a Promotion?

Hello this month’s entry will talk about a decision that many dual earner couples in today’s society might have to make. And that decision is about relocation of the family for a career. The couple I will refer to has a decision to make about whether to move for the husband’s promotion or not. This is not an easy decision to make since other people’s lives are affected, not just the husband. In this case, the couple has a child to consider, but the child is still very young and won’t be very affected by the decision. So that removes one big factor right there. Another big factor is that of the wife’s career. She travels a lot on business and can pretty much live anywhere so moving won’t really affect her career. That takes care of another big factor. So what is the disagreement all about? Well, the husband and the wife both like their current location due to the fact that it is a safe and nice place to raise a child with friends and family nearby. However, the opportunity is more important to the husband than the location and so he wants to move and she wants to stay. So the question is, how to make both parties happy because you can’t have one unhappy and the other happy and have a relationship work. Well, compromise is basically the key. There are three main options that the couple has…stay where they are, live separately and make a long distance relationship work, or move. And each choice has its complications.

• During the decision process, make sure to weigh out the pros and cons. Be realistic.
  
• Discuss and create possible solutions and compromises for different scenarios. Perhaps the husband can go and try it out first and see if he likes the job or the new location before the family comes.
  
• Remain fair to both parties. Resentment can build when people are forced to do things that they don’t want to so like I said before, compromise.
  
• Remain open-minded.
  
• Think of this as an opportunity for change or another option life has presented not a problem. Then decide whether you want to take it or not.
  

If you have to make this type of decision, there isn’t a right or wrong choice. Each family must decide what is the right solution for them. And ultimately, what will be best for all members of the family. Until next month…get out of the past, look toward the future, but live in the NOW.

Long Lost Love

This is a bit of a bittersweet story. I met a man who is in his mid-40s, successful, and seemingly has a great life. Only one problem…he’s lonely. He has had some serious relationships over the years, but there is one that he never seemed to forget. Yes, the clichéd “one that got away.” This “one” was from his early 20’s, and geography was the cause for the breakup, plus they were young, etc. So over the years he has thought about her and always wondered if he should get in touch but felt foolish. Here is my advice…

• Be realistic about the seriousness and feelings that were actually involved in the relationship.
  
• Remember the reasons for the breakup and realize that they may have been valid.
  
• Try not to romanticize the good and downplay the bad. People tend to downplay the bad when they are no longer in the relationship.
  
• Make sure that you know both of you were emotionally invested in the relationship at the time and it was not more one-sided.
  
• Make sure the person and not the desire for what you don’t have is the driving force. Everyone wants a happy ending, but make sure it’s that person you want it with.
  
• After all this, if you decide to get in touch, the technology now is very helpful. Websites like Facebook or MySpace help you get in touch with people from the past.
  

And if it turns out that the love is married or not interested, at least you know you’ve tried and can finally move on knowing that “the one” is someone you may not have met yet. Unitl next time...get out of the past, look toward the future, but live in the NOW.