This is a bit of a bittersweet story. I met a man who is in his mid-40s, successful, and seemingly has a great life. Only one problem…he’s lonely. He has had some serious relationships over the years, but there is one that he never seemed to forget. Yes, the clichéd “one that got away.” This “one” was from his early 20’s, and geography was the cause for the breakup, plus they were young, etc. So over the years he has thought about her and always wondered if he should get in touch but felt foolish. Here is my advice…
- Be realistic about the seriousness and feelings that were actually involved in the relationship.
- Remember the reasons for the breakup and realize that they may have been valid.
- Try not to romanticize the good and downplay the bad. People tend to downplay the bad when they are no longer in the relationship.
- Make sure that you know both of you were emotionally invested in the relationship at the time and it was not more one-sided.
- Make sure the person and not the desire for what you don’t have is the driving force. Everyone wants a happy ending, but make sure it’s that person you want it with.
- After all this, if you decide to get in touch, the technology now is very helpful. Websites like Facebook or MySpace help you get in touch with people from the past.
And if it turns out that the love is married or not interested, at least you know you’ve tried and can finally move on knowing that “the one” is someone you may not have met yet. Unitl next time...get out of the past, look toward the future, but live in the NOW.
